In May 11, 2022 Chicago Tribune, Dr. Louise Andrews wrote a compelling story about the destructive consequences of untreated age-related hearing loss in her father and both grandfathers. She loved them dearly and valued their support and care. Dr. Andrews is a physician, attorney, and disability rights advocate.
Fatherly and grandfatherly support is a profound gift for any daughter or granddaughter. I am eternally grateful for these mentors and wish their loving influence had persisted longer. —Louise Andrews reported in the Chicago Tribune
Note: The online version of the Chicago Tribune has a paywall. Non-subscribers can read up to two articles for free before being asked to subscribe.
Live a long, but fully engaged life
She notes that her father and grandfathers enjoyed the gift of longevity but wonders what could have helped them live more engaged fuller lives?
Here is what I wish I had given them: Release from the need to appear to be consistently strong, self-sufficient and invincible. The ability to acknowledge and adapt to advancing age and associated infirmities and the courage to admit the inability to solve every problem alone. I wish I could have gifted them the willingness to seek and use help when indicated. To release them from a belief that seeking help means you are “less of a …,” whatever it is, that you feel you must always and consistently be, as a father and as a man. —Louise Andrews
The courage to adapt
She wishes she could give all fathers “the courage to address the curse that took the intellect of my father, one grandfather and my father-in-law: age-related hearing loss, also known as ARHL.” She goes on to say:
Not being able to hear or properly process information made these men first defensive, then blameful, isolated and in denial. Eventually it rendered them less companionable and less interesting to people around them, ignored and, ultimately, avoided by those who might have helped them prevent the dementia that resulted from ARHL. —Louise Andrews
In stark contrast, Dr. Andrews’ physician grandfather used hearing aids and practiced medicine until he died at 81.
Hearing loss facts matter
- According to the World Health Organization, over 460 million people worldwide suffer from disabling hearing loss.
- In the U.S., hearing loss affects one-third of those 65 to 74 years old and nearly half of those older than 75, the National Institute on Deafness and Other Communication Disorders reports.
- Age-related hearing loss is the most common correctable cause of cognitive impairment, falls, and depression.
- Johns Hopkins researchers found people with mild, moderate, and severe hearing loss had a twofold, threefold, and fivefold increased risk of dementia.
“Stop mumbling!” and other fallacies
Dr. Andrews describes a common view of many people experiencing ARHL. If only people would come closer, put down their gadgets, stop mumbling and speak clearly. This never works, of course. She describes a lesson taught to students entering audiology.
Incoming students in an audiology program were required to wear earplugs for their first three days. That first day, they could ask people to repeat what they had said. By the second, students noticed their interactions became shorter and terser. By the third, people actively began to avoid them. These “hearing impaired” students were essentially being isolated. This same sequence occurs even in close and long-term relationships, albeit more gradually. —Louise Andrews
If your father has hearing loss
ARHL is a progressive disability that makes it more difficult to be understood. Dr. Andrews points out that “…we are less likely (when communication is not truly essential) to make an effort.”
If we’ve brought the hearing issue up many times before, and you do not respond, you begin to seem more stubborn than fragile. ARHL is easily addressed, and yet, to a loved one, your denial of it feels as if you don’t care about your own well-being, the health of our relationship or the happiness or even safety of those who love and may depend on you. —Louise Andrews
If your father has hearing loss, remind him that you love him dearly and want him as an adviser for as long as possible.
On this Father’s Day, Dr. Andrews advocates that you encourage your father to have his hearing tested and get hearing aids if recommended.
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